Shitty 70's Movies

The Land that Time Forgot

2008-10-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

I know it has been quite some time since I have posted a Shitty 70's movie, and I do apologize, but I dont think you will regret this one. It is a little more widely known, and I actually saw this one On Demand. The Land that Time Forgot is a wild, phantasmagory journey into the past, not just because it was made in 1975, but because it exhibits, in true jurassic form, the monsters that once dominated this fragile Earth. And it does so in flawless fashion.

This is a true masterpiece that questions the human spiritual and temporal embodiment. It pits the ever resounding questions of evolution against everything that is holy and sure in this world, and slaps it in the face. At the same time the remaining survivors have no other choice but to adapt, but that means a process of de-evolution as they are forced to assume a baser method of living.

The movie starts and ends with a cannister flying over a steep and deadly butte and into the ocean which is symbolic of the life cycle. As one story comes to an end there is another that is just beginning. The cycle that is most obviously represented on the island of Caprona itself, the life between the dinos, the Sto-lu, Band-lu, and Kro-lu. The progression of simple organisms that thrive in the fresh waters. Its a display of the delicacy and beauty of life and death.

The suspense is unbearable as you watch. An ambush on the nearby surfacing submarine creates more tension, the battle between man and beast, and the battle of man with himself. As one of them later states that its kill or be killed anymore in the world.

In a battle of wits and tomfoolery between 'ze Germans' and the castaways the sub gets lost and stumbles upon an unbearable, unlandable, uninhabitable frozen island rumored to be discovered by an ancient explorer and named Caprona. With supplies dwindling and men at each others juggulars the brave Tyler (Doug McClure) steers the ship into an underground river system. At one point the ship nearly gets stuck on a tight corner.

There is no rest from the action, no time waiting to discover the perils of the island, no building of love interests, but its NON STOP ACTION. Dinosaurs immediately start attacking. Native peoples are scalping and flinging poo. One captured neanderthal helps explain the evolutionary process of the island through a series of grunts and gestures. Its an exciting adventure that puts our own existence into question. Kevin Connor (has worked mostly in TV shortly after making The People that Time Forgot, a sequel ca. 1977), making his sophomoric directing effort, comes across as veteran. He assembles the pieces of this chaotic puzzle with masterful imagery and second-to-none execution.

You name the elements of this film: special effects, acting, themes, set designs, suspense, action, and you are naming perfection.

The Arena

2008-08-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

The movie is called The Arena, but most people call it a.k.a. Naked Warriors.

I didnt post Apocalypse Now (1979) here because it was not in this category.

This movie is truly remarkable in the sense that it tries to get the point across that objectification of women is wrong, but it objectifies women to get the point across, therefore thematically opposing the true theme of the film. Follow me. Let me put it simply. Tons of 70's bush, breasts, and booty. Women slaves who are forced to please the Gladiators the night before a fight. As the poster says, "see wild women fight to the death."

Who are the ad wizards behind this one?

The movie followed two girls in their quest for freedom from their dirty Roman lords. But not before there is plenty of T&A, and verbal and physical debasing of women. That's the whole movie until in the last 15 minutes the women revolt against everyone in Rome and kill hundreds of Roman soldiers, making their escape to the catacombs and to their eventual freedom.

I am amazed that this movie had a sense of accomplishment. I felt fulfilled at the end as the ladies made their escape to freedom. They parted as life-long friends who helped each other to the truth. I especially enjoyed the sub plots. The love interests. The flamboyant slave master. The subtle hints at lesbian comradery.

Steve Carver (nothing notable) led a team who was broken. The misfits that get nothing but bare bones as scraps, and turned them into an adaptable team of ingenuitive retards. The angles that they used to hide the small sets. The perched over the shoulder shots to establish power vs. submissiveness. The anciently state-of-the-art effects. They all resemble a film that anyone with $18.76 and a handy cam could reproduce. Beginner stuff, but that is his purity. Its genius that he could capture the barbaric maltreatment of the slaves all the while seducing the audience with tight outfits and swinging bare breasts.

He remains so true to the captive spirit that only dreams of freedom. Angered to insurrection, it serves only one true master; itself. The Oscar-nominated acting is what drew me into the film, and the gross debacle held me there. It was a profound realization of our own society, and the tortures we place on women. It was collective, and interpretive. I walked away with my eyes welling.

Bravo sad man! Bravo!

the start

2008-08-15T15:05:00.001-07:00

just a test of the site